Sometimes.... - Anthony Karen

People say I’m quiet and keep to myself, but when I try to share they only hear what they want to hear... or it becomes about them.

Sometimes my feelings are hurt and I don’t want to say something hurtful in response, so I excuse myself.

They always say how much they care, but why do they make comments such as “here he goes again” when I can still hear them as I’m leaving?

Sometimes I just want to get my words out without being judged.

Sometimes “I’m sorry” makes all the difference.

Sometimes an insincere apology hurts more than saying nothing at all.

Sometimes I like to be alone so I don’t have to pretend I’m not sad.

Sometimes I wish certain things didn’t bother me.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t seen all the terrible things I have, and then maybe I wouldn’t be so sensitive.

Sometimes I feel expressing myself in an honest fashion should be considered an admirable trait, other times I’m made to believe it’s a flaw.

Sometimes I tell myself that I matter, that I am a good person and I deserve to be happy... over and over again. Sometimes that doesn’t work.

Sometimes I rather be yelled at than ignored.

Sometimes I feel empathy and compassion are my greatest gifts, most of the time I feel it’s the darkest curse.

Sometimes I don’t want to die, but sometimes I think about it.

Sometimes I just want the pain to stop.

Sometimes I just want a hug.

Sometimes it’s you and not me... sometimes I wish I could own that when it's my turn to be right.

Sometimes people are nicer when you’re sick. That doesn’t seem very nice at all, but that’s why I don’t mind being sick all the time.

Sometimes the people who claim they care about you are the ones who hurt you the deepest.

Sometimes I close my eyes while driving on a empty road and hope to wake up in another place.

Sometimes I’m curious why these feelings and words might mean more after I’m gone.

Sometimes I wish I had the nerve jump in the deep ocean even though I can’t swim very well.

Sometimes they say you should reach out if you feel lost or when life gets too heavy. Sometimes they don’t tell you what to do when nobody listens.

Sometimes medication is not the answer.

Sometimes it’s just too late.

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Sometimes is always for some people.

Sometimes the power of the tongue isn't enough.

Sometimes people feel disempowered.

Sometimes people are victims of violence or they hate so much that the absurd becomes righteous.

Sometimes people are motivated by darkness.

Sometimes people don't have empathy.

Sometimes people want to hurt others like they've been hurt.

Sometimes people want to be remembered, but not in a way I can relate to.

Sometimes people hear voices that aren't there.

Sometimes people want to see the fear in a person’s eye.

Sometimes people need medication.

Sometimes it's too late.

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“But the tongue no man tame; (it is) an unruly evil, full of deadly poison - James 3:8”

Words do matter; they can mean the difference between sometimes and always.

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Anthony Karen is a documentary photographer based in New York. Over the years, Anthony has worked on several long-term projects, including extensive documentation of white separatists. This project led to two books, exhibitions in Bulgaria, Italy, the annual Noorderlicht Festival, and two screenings at Visa Pour I’Image international photojournalism festival in Perpignan, France.

His photographs and interviews have been featured in various forms of media, such as NPR radio, LIFE, Time, Mother Jones, The Washington Post, and Slate.

Anthony served in the US Marine Corps and worked for many years in the personal protection industry. He has traveled extensively worldwide and has volunteered on numerous international medical missions. His charitable affiliations include Hospice, Smile Train, Surgical Volunteers International, and the Humane Society.