The Unapologetic (Sinner) - Darriel McBride

Contrary to popular opinion, I am not a sinner.

I do not bargain with the devil

nor am I the priest that loves god’s children

a little too much. No.

I’m the one who loves to love.

I’m the one who loves to feel.

I’m the one who cries sea salt tears that sting my cheeks for weeks

the one whose heart bleeds at the sounds of the words

“Confused”... “Weirdo”

For a bunch of followers, you sure love to play the role of god

drawing a line drawn between who I can be and who I can be with.

Tell me,

how could your god be that cruel ?

To trap one’s soul mate in the body of someone they’re not allowed to love?

We live in a world where two lovers of the same gender

means persecution,

but I never knew love even had a gender--

so I will not be fooled

by the fallacies of the church: a meager institution.

Last time I checked, love is a noun and verb.

I am not a sinner and I won’t apologize.

Because her voice is sweeter than the hymns you sing and the words you preach.

I’m not a sinner, but I'll still shout hallelujah!

because she sets my soul on fire.

With her healing touch,

her angelic voice,

her purifying eyes—

that neutralize my fears.

I am not a sinner, and I won’t apologize.

No matter how much you try to “keep the gay away”

with your…“pick up a bible” “repent” “God did not intend for two women to lay in bed”

I’m sure God did not intend

for the world to be so full of hatred either but here we are.

The devil must be working overtime

or through you--

Shit, if i’m a sinner then you must be too!

Every lie you’ve told, every pen you stole...

still think you’re not a sinner? Well, honey. Take a good look in the mirror.

Oh, now here you go again.

Chanting “Praise God in all his glory.”

Coming to take me to my redemption.

Coming to take me to church.

Well, good luck.

Because I’m not a morning person.

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Darriel McBride is a poet and activist from the South Bronx, New York. She graduated from Marist College in 2017 with a Bachelors in English Writing. She is a U.S Fulbright Alumni, Gates Millennium Scholar, and NBC Universal Page. Darriel’s poetry has been featured in the Bronx Native Writer’s Anthology Vol. 1, Into the Void, LUNA Magazine, and We Are Antifa. During her Fulbright Fellowship, she taught poetry and creative writing to South Africa students. In 2020, she was selected to attend the Frost Place Conference on Poetry: an intensive poetry camp with writers who are deeply committed to learning more about the craft of poetry.