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Abigail Gray - the secret

i built a dam of stone

to patch a leak in my brain,

keeping hasty yearnings

to myself, but cracks began

forming as my vision blurred,

he asked if i was okay,

i said yes, why the hell

did i say yes?

i shoveled sand into my mouth

to dry the temptation

from slipping up my throat

his laughter caused streams,

the ocean became overbearing

beaches of breathlessness,

as waves rolled against the

muck between my teeth

my voice mud when he asked

if i needed anything

my tongue split in two,

drawing blood when the devil

fought the angel keeping

my dignity, swords clashing,

scraping at my lips,

and i opened my mouth

mud and blood and spit and secrets

dripping into my lap and

he listened?

and before i could

scoop up the mess i made

shove it back inside me,

he kissed me

and i knew i was fucked.


Abigail Gray It’s not uncommon to find her body lodged between the roots of a tree, soaking in her knowledge as she speaks myths on to the page. Most of her work centers around childhood grief, the healing powers of the bewitched natural world, the gripping maw of addiction, and the complexity of gender. She has previously been published in Champlain College’s The Well, Foliate Oak Literary Magazine, and Poet’s Choice.


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