1.
I tell my mother the truth
she looks me in the eye
with hers soft, tearful.
My mother sees me
through a haze
of what I imagine is love
the soft-focus way
of looking at the people
who took pieces of our hearts
with which to scar themselves.
Every time she sees
my face she breathes normally.
She understands and remains
sane, there, all of her.
She does not free herself
from gravity or fall and glue
herself to the floor.
She breathes in and out
even if that's a trigger.
She breathes and sees me
simultaneously.
Then her warm brown hand holds mine.
2.
When I tell
my mother
what's been happening
she holds me
and rocks me
and says there there
you poor dear
I'll make it better,
Mama's here.
I love you so much.
We'll make him go away
and leave us alone.
I'll kiss all the boo-boos.
I'll wipe all your tears,
but not til after you cry them
as much as you need to
while I accept all of your difficult feelings
including your rage at me
for letting this happen.
And she is calm and strong
taking all of it, as much as
I think she needs to take,
until I feel seen and heard
believed and beloved.
And she means it.
And she does it.
And I am healed.
3.
My mother is thin.
That's it.
The whole thing.
Beginning to end.
Top to bottom.
I must have really pissed her off.
She's banging on my kitchen window
6 floors up -- I hate it
when she claws at the ledge
I will not let her in.
She's screaming saying
you don't know what it's like!
I don't know Death either.
She gulps the air now
trying to still her hysteria.
I can't be hysterical
after a hysterectomy!
I want to tell her
she so can
but I don't reply --
it upsets her more
to be ignored.
You could have brought me back
to life, she cries. I thought she wanted
to be thin. I didn't think
she'd want to come back
if she wasn't thin. Quieting she asks
Does that mean you'll bring me back
to life? Thin? Really?
So thin, I blow her off
the window ledge
and watch her Wile E. Coyote---
Emma Goldman-Sherman's poems have been published in American Athenaeum, Oberon, Nasty Women Poetry Anthology and others. Her plays have been produced on 4 continents and include "Counting in Sha'ab" (Golden Thread, PlayingOnAir.org) and Abraham's Daughters (TheParsnipShip.com). Emma earned an MFA from University of Iowa where she received a Norman Felton Award, the Richard Maibaum Award for Plays Addressing Social Justice. PERFECT WOMEN won the Jane Chambers Award. As Resident Dramaturg, she runs the WriteNow Workshop for new play development and www.BraveSpace.online to support female and t/gnc (she/they-identified) writers of all genres. She has taught at U of Iowa, GPTC, NYWW, and many other places. Member: The Dramatists Guild, LPTW, LMDA. Her plays are available at newplayexchange.org. Tanya's Lit Clit is her most recent play being developed in collaboration with Experimental Bitch Presents.
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